Running with Zaza

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Dear Hawks, Please Rescue Josh Childress

During Atlanta’s loss to the Celtics almost two weeks ago, I felt badly for Joe Johnson when he missed a free throw in the final minute with a chance to tie that game up. Johnson has played well and has been the Hawks’ go-to-guy in the 4th quarter of every close game. However, looking back on that game the next day, I felt ten times worse for poor Josh Childress.

Apparently, the NBA and the powers that be at ESPN thought it would be a great idea to check in with J-Chill during the 2nd quarter. With a crisp, clear telephone connection from somewhere in Greece, the Childress interview interrupted a couple of minutes of game time. (By the way, I hate these interviews in all sports when people are on the telephone or in the booth. The game action goes on and the announcers interview the person during the game action. Terrible.)

ESPN and NBA commissioner David Stern probably thought Childress would come on with some positive feedback about playing in Greece and push forward the NBA’s inexorable agenda of moving towards an actual global league. Instead, Childress sounded miserable, sad, and lonely. He kind of sounds like Simba in The Lion King when he thinks he is responsible for father’s death.

In keeping with the Disney theme, Childress needs to type up a letter admitting that going overseas was a mistake. Then, he should fold that letter up, put it into an empty bottle of ouzo, cork the bottle, and drop the bottle in the Mediterranean Sea. Disney Studios could make another movie sequel of the animated classic The Rescuers and send Bernard and Miss Bianca across the Atlantic to save J-Chill.

Can you imagine the comedic effect of an animated Childress? He would be great drawn really long and skinny, with the big grin, and the great, blown out hair. He could be in an Olympiakos jersey. The Olympiakos owner and Chill’s agent would be the bad guys that are trying to steal some huge diamond or something. They need Chill’s defensive skills and wingspan to beat an elaborate museum security system. For other product placement, he could eat McDonalds, drink Cokes (for the Atlanta connection), and wear some Nike gear.

For Olympiakos, Childress is doing exactly what he did for the Hawks last year. In the tough and competitive Euroleague games, he is averaging about 10 points per game. He probably plays solid defense and rebounds well for his size. He shoots over 50% from the floor, but cannot make a 3-point shot. He probably cannot get his own shot or score clutch baskets in crunch time of games. Give credit to Childress and his agent, he parlayed some limited success as a 6th man last year into a very lucrative contract. But at what damage to Childress’ career?

Here is my advice to Childress: Come back home. Admit you made a mistake. Accept a ride from Miss Bianca and Bernard (Hawks' GM Rick Sund). You can be the role player in the NBA that you always were, but you have to do it for 3 years at $5 million per year. Ask Sund and Coach Woodson to take you back. Coach Woodson will forgive and forget. Last night against the Pacers, he could have played you about 25 minutes. Keep the minutes under 40 for Smooth, Bibby, and Super Joe. Pair you with Mo Evans as a defensive stopper. The Hawks don’t need to make a trade at the deadline to have a great chance to win a playoff series in 2009--just get Childress back for the stretch run.


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the Internet nigger said...

lol i wouldnt mind seeing Childress back on the Hawks, but only if we can trade Flip Murray for him

January 2, 2009 at 1:36 PM

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